


Veiled Distance

by EllainaGrey



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age - Various Authors, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragon Age Lore, Elvhen, F/F, F/M, Fen'Harel (Dragon Age) Smut, I Love Solas (Dragon Age), M/M, Mages (Dragon Age), Multi, Original Character(s), POV Solas (Dragon Age), Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Protective Solas (Dragon Age), Skyhold (Dragon Age), Solas (Dragon Age) in Love, Solas (Dragon Age) is Grim and Fatalistic, Solas is Fen'Harel (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26366719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllainaGrey/pseuds/EllainaGrey
Summary: An unknown elf finds herself in the stone walls of Skyhold, her savior revealing himself to be none other than Solas, Fen'harel, the Dread Wolf.Without any memories of her past or her own name, she is gifted the name Erys by him. Their friendship for one another slowly blossoms into more as their romance deepens for one another. His da'len and her vhenan as their journey brings them further into the ancient world of the elvhen.She possesses powers that Solas has never seen before and finds her magic to be pure, as her heart and love for him is pure. The darkness that binds him to himself starts to disappear the more he allows her to see him as he truly is.***please note there may be some slight changes to the Dragon Age line for the fanfic purposes, I will do my best to uphold all that is good in our realm.***Follow on:Instagram: @ellainagreyTumblr: ellainagrey
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Original Female Character(s), Cullen Rutherford/Solas/Original Female Character(s), Elvhen & Solas (Dragon Age), Female Inquisitor/Solas (Dragon Age), Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel (Dragon Age)/Original Character(s), Fen'Harel (Dragon Age)/Original Elvhen Character(s), Fen'Harel (Dragon Age)/Original Female Character(s), Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, Fen'Harel | Solas/Original Character(s), Fen'Harel | Solas/Original Female Character(s), Fen'Harel/Female Lavellan (Dragon Age), Inquisitor & Solas (Dragon Age), Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford/Solas, Solas & Original Female Character(s), Solas (Dragon Age) & Other(s), Solas (Dragon Age)/Original Character(s), Solas (Dragon Age)/Original Female Character(s), Solas - Relationship
Comments: 23
Kudos: 37





	1. Lost Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am,” the words went dry in her mouth, there was nothing she could remember.
> 
> Her name, her past was all but lost to her. She felt the trickle of warm tears as they made their way down her cheeks, hoping he did not see them in the dim light. Her vision blurred, the darkness forming where there was once light. There was no telling him from the blur of the room around them, everything melting together.

The steady rain dripped off the leaves, softly falling onto her skin causing her to stir from her rest. She opened her eyes a few times, everything was hazy, her surroundings were an unfocused blur. Her breathing hitched as she gasped, wincing from the pain at her side. The smell was one she could not mistake, the metallic scent of her blood as it soaked through her tunic. She pressed her right hand against the warm, sticky blood that seeped through her rib cage, a deep wound that would lead to her death.

She winced as she tried to remember where she was…. Nothing…. All the thoughts in her head made it unbearable to surmise what had taken place.

_“Where was she?”_

_“How did she get here?”_

_“Would anyone save her?”_

The pounding in her head grew louder with each small thought, flashes of white light like lightning flashed becoming more frequent. She shut her eyes in the hopes that the pain would dissipate soon and she could think without the pain. There was no way to stand, her body shivered as the blood continued to seep past her hand. One last blurred glance was all she could take before the darkness crept in, it would only be a few more moments before her last breath.

****

It had been days since he had left his hold, watching the hallas as they skittered past him. His dark green cowl and tunic blended into the lush forest surrounding him as he drew back his arrow. A moment to himself that he welcomed after dealing with the needs of the Evanuris. He set his gray-brown eyes on the smallest of the hallas, pulling back swiftly to make his move.

“ _Solas_ ,” a voice whispered at his ear.

Solas withdrew his arrow from his bow, looking for whoever had called to him. He was alone, he could sense no one in the forests besides him, except the faint life force drifting away. Concealing himself in the shadows, he found his feet leading him to whoever he had sensed.

“ _Solas, here_ ,” the voice whispered to him again, more urgent than before.

He followed the voice as it continued to whisper in his ear. Where the voice was leading him was a mystery he intended to solve. Very few wandered into this part of his hold, the spirits roamed freely here without disturbance until today. The world was quiet around him as a glimmer beyond the trees

The metallic smell of blood was still fresh as he took notice of the small, frail elf that leaned up against the tree. She was cold to his touch as he kneeled down placing his hand against her face. Her breaths were long and shallow, little warmth could be felt from her has she drew what could be her last breaths. He pressed his hand against her as the blood seeped through her delicate fingers, staining them.

Solas whispered to himself as he allowed his magic to pass through his fingertips healing the horrendous wound. Her breathing hitched slightly as the wound began to heal beneath his hand as her breaths began to stabilize. Her fair coloring returned to her face, the natural rosy pink to her once blue lips. He brushed his fingertips along her face to place the hair that had fallen behind her ears. Even her ears were petite and delicate.

He truly unsure for once again in his life about this elf that sat before him. She was unmistakably beautiful despite her current state. Her silver hair clung to the dried blood along her face as he used his magic to search for a _valleslin_ , finding not one mark upon her skin except a small, delicate scar that rested on her left brow.

He picked her up gently as he carried her in his arms, resting her head against his chest. She was light in his arms, so tiny and delicate, she fit perfectly against his chest. There was a moment of musing at the spirit that lead him to her, the spirits of the fade had their ways within the elven realm, moving about like the air on your face. Many of those of spirits had become close companions throughout his life, coming to his aide in war and in the unknown.

****

The room was dimly lit with candlelight as she opened her eyes, blinking a few times to focus. It was painful to move, the wound at her side no longer open and bleeding. _“Where am I,”_ she thought to herself, trying to see beyond the shadows of the room. She sat up quickly, her back touching the cold stone wall that was next to the bed, an unfamiliar male voice spoke. A decision she regretted instantly as the pain in her side flared again, moving her hand to feel the bump of a newly healed scar.

“You are safe,” a tall elven figure emerged from the shadows, his features still hidden by the dim light of the candles glow.

There was gentleness in his grayish-brown eyes as he moved closer to the edge of the bed. She felt at ease as he sat on the opposite end of the bed, a soft smile on his face. He was handsome, the shaved sides and the long brown braids that fell behind his head, the smoothness of his face with the small scar on his forehead and the dimple of his chin.

“You were severely wounded when I found you,” he said, a grave look upon his face, “I have brought you back to my hold until you heal completely.”

“Who…. who are you” she asked, her voice meek as it quietly escaped her lips.

There was a certainty she could sense that he would do her no harm. He had treated her wound, gave her a room to rest in, and rescued her from her deathly fate. She could not resist staring at him as he sat across from her, the blush burning within her cheeks as she felt something stir within her.

“Solas, that is what you may call me,” his voice still low, yet she could feel herself leaning closer to him, “I am also an elven mage, the wound may still hurt despite using my magic to heal it.”

His gaze never left hers, gazing deep into them as if he would find answers she did not know. She felt the pain at her side as she leaned forward, wanting to see more of her savior, this Solas. Her curiosity was heightened, intrigued by his voice and allured by his face.

“ _Ma serannas_ ,” she bowed her head, her eyes never leaving his watchful gaze, “I can never thank you enough for what you have done.”

He looked away, maybe it was a trick of the candlelight, but there was a soft smile on his face. She leaned forward more, now sitting on her knees, ignoring the pain. The mystery of who he was made her want more, the mischievous lighting did not help in stopping her desire to see his face again.

“And who might you be,” Solas brought his eyes back to her, taking notice of how close she had brought herself to him.

His eyes narrowed slightly, the smile no longer on his face. There was silence between them as she searched for the answers. Nothing…. There was nothing she could recall before waking up in the forest. Even her own name was lost upon her lips.

“I am,” the words went dry in her mouth, there was nothing she could remember.

Her name, her past was all but lost to her. She felt the trickle of warm tears as they made their way down her cheeks, hoping he did not see them in the dim light. Her vision blurred, the darkness forming where there was once light. There was no telling him from the blur of the room around them, everything melting together.


	2. Brilliant Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now awaken, the strange elf ventures to find more about her savior. Solas, unsure of who she is, gives her a look into Skyhold, while finding out who she truly is.

Solas watched intently as she rested across from him, the brief moments he had shared with someone that was no more than a stranger still to him had made him quite perplexed about her. She was foreign, distinct in her own quiet way, unlike those that he knew. He gently placed a hand on her forehead, as he quietly whispered to himself, _“hamin_ , rest.” 

She was strikingly beautiful from the silver of her hair, reminding him of starlight, complimented her pale skin. Porcelain and delicate features made her seemingly delicate and fragile to him, as if she could shatter into thousands of pieces. He watched her a while longer, tracing his fingers lightly across her face, studying every feature from the light pink blush of her cheeks to her rosy pink lips.

He smiled softly to himself, wondering how in all the world he would happen upon a situation as this. He withdrew his hand from her face, watching her stir a little before returning to her deep slumber. The sunlight began to trickle into the room, bringing more depth to her beauty. He shook his head slightly, trying to break the smile from his face before leaving the room.

His musing ceased as he stepped out into the hallway leading back to his study. Sentinels kept watch throughout Skyhold, silently and swiftly keeping to their shadows. A single sentinel dressed from head to toe in black armor stood watch outside the door to her room, with a request made simply to bring her to him once she had awakened.

Once back in the safety of his study, he settled down in his chair with a book of elven tales. Fate once again played its own game with a simple turn of a page. There it was a story of a silver-haired elf had found him once again. _“Erys_ ,” he whispered to himself as he found the name of the beautifully spirited elf in his story. He was drawn to her, he was drawn to this name, and it was then he knew, there was no going back.

****

Daylight streamed in through the slits in the stone wall as she woke from her slumber. She surveyed the room as she rose from the bed, finding that Solas was no longer there, a frown formed on her face. There was little she knew about him, this was true, but there was something from the night before that drew her attention. The room was simple, the decorations were minimal, enough to make it a bit warm and cozy. At the edge of her bed rested a simple blue silk dress, a silver roped belt, and leather coverings for her feet. She stretched as she moved to the mirror that hung above the dresser.

The tangled mess of silver hair on her scalp hurt as she ran her fingers through the tension of the knots. She found that a bath had been drawn for her, the water still warm to her touch. The mirror facing the bath gave way to state that she was in. Every inch of her was covered from blood or dirt, the cotton wrap around her waist was the cleanest part of her before she undressed. She took note of the shimmering white scar from where her wound was r before, it tingled as she ran her fingers lightly across it.

The bath water was warm and fragrant, smelling of lavender as she sunk below the surface. Her fingers made quick work of massaging and untangling the mess of knots little by little until every strand was free. She massaged her scalp softly, removing the caked-on blood and dirt, turning the once clear bath water brown. Once her skin felt clean, the dirty bath seemed less appealing now to her as she toweled off her skin.

The blue silk dress fit her perfectly, with slits on both sides making it easier to move freely as she twirled in front of the mirror. Her brilliant blue eyes shined brightly as she quickly set to braiding parts of her hair, wrapping it up in a high ponytail, showing off her delicate ears. She wrapped the silver belt around her waist two times, showing off the curves of her body, she smiled as she took once last glance into the mirror.

The quietness in the room reminded her that she was alone as she moved slowly towards the window slit to see the world outside the stone walls. Wherever she was the clouds were so close that she imagined herself reaching out and touching one of the milky white wisps. There were mountains in the distance and greenery that could barely be made out beyond the ramparts surrounding the hold.

She sighed softly as she moved towards the wooden door that must lead out into the vast expanse of the hold. The darkly dressed sentinel did not move an inch as she walked past him. Something beckoned her to stop as she studied the intricate markings of his pendant and his armor.

“Come _,”_ the sentinel moved in front of her, leading her without another word through the stone hall.

The stone ceilings were high above her head as she marveled at the stonework around them. Not a word was said between them as the sentinel lead her deeper within the hold before finding herself in front of one more wooden door. She followed him into to the main hall, and there he was, Solas, her savior.

The blush rose to her cheeks as she took in the wonder of him. Solas was a foot taller than her, he was slender yet muscular at the same time. His eyes a brownish gray that gave a musing look towards her as she could not help but stare. He was handsome, the small scars on his forehead and jaw drew more attention to his eyes and his lips, she couldn’t stop herself from staring.

****

Solas watched closely as she entered the main hall, her eyes never once left his as she looked him up and down. He couldn’t help but try to hide his amusement in this tiny elf, as he shook his head. There was something about the way she looked that stirred something within him. The blue dress did not help as he caught himself staring at the curves of her body. He cleared his throat as he ran his hands against the shaved sides of his head, brushing the braids back.

“ _Andaran atish’an_ ,” he spoke as he stepped towards her, “I trust you have found the dress to your liking?”

She nodded slowly, refusing to leave his gaze, “yes, the dress is more than to my liking, thank you for all that you have done, however can I repay you?”

He stood just a few feet away from her, noticing how she smiled as she looked up at him. Her brilliant blue eyes matched her smile, as if she was grinning from ear-to-delicate pointed ear. It took everything in his reserve not to smile more than he could give away to a stranger.

“Come, let me show you the hold,” he held out his hand, an offering that she could choose to refuse.

There was a moment of wavering before she nodded her head as she stepped to stand beside him. He knew not to press her any further, he was still a complete stranger to her, and her to him. She had given him a hint of trust as he led her through the main hall towards the largest and heaviest of the wooden doors.

“You must have many questions,” he said as they walked down the stone steps to the courtyard that was located within the hold itself. Solas watched as her blue eyes flit back and forth at the sight of the emptiness in the courtyard. Beside the massive trees that shaded their path as they ventured to the pavilion across from them.

“You still have not answered my question about your name,” he said breaking the silence between them. Her eyes found his once again, looking intently at him, as if she still could not remember. And within a few moments of her staring at him before looking down at her own hands, he knew she did not.

****

“I don’t even recall my own name let alone anything about my past,” she felt the same tears as the night before welling up in her eyes. There was no memory that she could call her own before waking up in the forest alone. She quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes, trying with all of her might to not feel frustrated and to let Solas see her cry.

He placed a hand gently on her shoulder, knowing that she was more than truthful. Her honesty and gentleness were admirable despite everything she had gone through days before. She looked up at him, smiling and even with her tearstained cheeks, she was the most beautiful elf he had seen before. As beautiful as the elven woman he had read about in the story earlier in the morning.

 _“Erys_ ,” he whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

She looked curiously up at him, “Erys, who is Erys?”

He smiled gently, his mistake for not keeping his own thought in his head for once. “Erys, will be your name if you wish.”

The biggest smile played upon her face as she looked away, softly whispering the name to herself before looking back at him, “Erys I shall be.”


	3. A New Fondess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months after meeting Solas, Erys now has started a new life in Skyhold. The unknown life that Solas keeps from her, leaves her questioning who he truly is. She allows herself in this moment after his return on what he could be keeping a secret from her.

Days turned into weeks and then into months after their first encounter. The two, Erys and Solas were fated to meet, due to whatever divine intervention that day. Erys still was unable to recall her past life, yet that no longer bothered her. She enjoyed this new life in front of her, and the best part was her new friend she had made.

Solas doted on Erys ever so often, and it was apparent to those who knew him that he rarely displayed this affection to anyone else. His abilities as a mage were not lost to her. He noticed her interest in magic and her natural ability to influence it around her. He smiled, seeing how natural magic was to her, as if it were simply breathing. He allowed her to venture out of Skyhold now that her wounds were healed and the fainting spells no more.

She was quick witted and agile, the grace she carried as she moved set her apart from all of the others. She could brighten any room that she walked into, simply by smiling. It was breathtaking and frightening all at the same time. He was not one to share much of his emotions or thoughts with others, other than his friends the spirits and Mythal. Her voice was light and song-like, at times he could hear her hum a song that would calm him no matter how angered he was. However, today, no song would be able to work its magic on him

****

Erys softly stared at Solas sitting across from her on the balcony to her new room. His strong features showing more under the light of the sun. He was different, in the slightest movements to the tone of his voice towards her. This was a brief moment in time where they were not on a mission.

There was a new subtly to his actions, a gentleness only towards her and no one else. She followed him on his journey to free those enslaved to those of the Evanuris. Learning more about this world that existed with him in it. She was amazed at his magical abilities to gently remove the vallaslin, in a swift motion, showing not only promise in his actions but truth.

The faces on the elves as he freed them, removing their vallaslin, showed the compassion he had to those who were powerless to this Evanuris he fought against. He rarely spoke about those ‘would be gods in her presence. This was a wall between their new found friendship, if she could call it that. She was unsure of how he saw even her.

If she had learned anything about Solas during their time together, he was passionate about everything he did. The moments when he was not grim or fatalistic, she enjoyed even more. He could be like stone, unwavering in sharing about his life, and then he could be warm like the sunshine. She looked at him, her brilliant blue eyes looking up at him from under her dark eyelashes, a smile played out on her lips.  
“Solas,” she looked at him fully now, it was hard not to stare at him. She rubbed her fingertips into the palm of her hand, “where do you go when I am not allowed to venture out with you?”

She had waited several moments to ask him after his last excursion without her, afraid that he would be angered by her curiosity. The loneliness, and now the emptiness she felt when he was gone wore on her.  
Once the question had escaped her lips, she turned her eyes to the clouds drifting by. Her fingertips covering her top lip, as if to protect her from that linger question. The silence between them growing louder in the space between them.

****

Solas unsure of how to break the silence, rose gracefully and moved towards the railing of the balcony. Placing his hands on the stone railing, he looked out over his hold. There were many things in his past and present he wished to keep hidden from Erys. He worried that she would not accept him for who he was, Fen’Harel.

He was preoccupied in his own thoughts that he did not hear her move to the edge of the balcony. He looked to his left to see her resting her elbows on the railing, looking out into the same world that he did. Her brilliant blue eyes shining as the sun light touched her face, her silver hair freely blowing in the breeze.

He turned to face her, acknowledging the silence needed to be no more. “We the elven people of this land have mages that control other elves,” he paused for a brief moment, “they are strong mages that call themselves the Evanuris and view themselves as gods.”

He looked at her until she brought her eyes to meet his. “There are many in the Evanuris who do not like my presence, they do not enjoy losing their slaves to me,” he waited for her to look away, but her eyes were focused on him alone.

“When I venture alone, without you, I visit a dear friend,” he shifted in his stance, “Mythal is one of the Evanuris, she stands against the unjust mages who seek to control the elven world even more than now.” He watched as she brushed a piece of hair behind her delicate ear. How could he continue to have her trust after revealing all that he was to her.

“You call me Solas, the only name that I have shared with you,” his eyes narrowed, looking to see any sign of wavering in her mesmerized stare, “to the Evanuris and those I have saved, I am Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf.” To his amazement, she took the slightest step towards him, her left hand still resting on the railing. “While we are kin, they see me as a betrayer, a trickster, a sore to their greed,” he released his right hand from the railing, closely watching her facial expressions.

****

Erys watched as Solas’ eyes turned dimmed, his body still as a statue before her. She stepped forward with her hands outstretched, offering all that she could. He has shared a part of his life with her, one that seemed to cause him much turmoil within.

“You do not have to be afraid,” she smiled brightly from her lips to her eyes, “it means more than you think to me for you to be vulnerable.” Now there was no more distance between them, and the silence had been filled, the sounds of the world around them playing again.

She brushed her fingers against his cheek and saw for the first time him fully relax. His normal, serious expression nowhere to be found, his eyes lit up at her touch. She did not move her hand away from his cheek and felt the warmth of his hand as his placed it upon hers. His face tilted slightly into her hands, the sense of calm taking over them both. Now in her heart, a new emotion took over her, one she could never remember feeling about him before.

She let out a small sigh and dropped her hand from his face, he did not let go of her. His eyes were focused on her, her reflection mirrored in them. He lowered his head down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. The soft, warmth of his lips sending shivers down her spine, the feeling of butterflies in her stomach. She felt his hand release hers and watched him turn to go.


	4. Glances and Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erys and Solas shared an innocent moment on the balcony the day before. Now there is tension in the air from that day. Solas kept most of the day to himself avoiding Erys.

Erys was restless from the day before, she could not forget the forehead kiss from Solas. Barely sleeping through the night, tossing and turning, she replayed the moment over and over in her head. It was still early in the morning and it was quiet in the hall.

She moved quickly out of bed, washed her face, combed her silver hair, adorning it with a few braids and a samite ribbon to tie it back into a low ponytail. She found a white tunic that slipped off her shoulders, a samite vest, light brown leather pants. Once she finished dressing, she threw on her boots and laced them into a bow at the top.

She took one last look in the mirror, taking small pieces of hair and letting them fall around her face. Once satisfied with how she looked, she turned to leave her room. There was no longer a guard to watch over her door recently, but they could be heard wandering up and down the hall during their watch. She walked down the hall towards the main hall, unsure of where he might be this early.

There was no one in the main hall, except for his select guards that were always stationed there. The silence in the hold was more than she could take, and she wandered out into the garden. Solas had given her free reign of the garden to plant flowers and herbs as she saw fit, the colors of the budding flowers brought life to empty stone walls surrounding it.

Birds sang above her, greeting the morning sun that was beginning to add light to the shadows. Humming a gentle melody, she walked around the garden taken moments to look over her flowers and tend to them. She daydreamed of the moments on the balcony with him, she could still feel the warmth from his kiss whenever she thought of it.

****

Solas watched Erys from the walkway overlooking the garden, he was surprised to see her up so early. After their conversation on the balcony and then kissing her on the forehead, he had made himself scarce. He spent all night mulling over everything in his head, to the point of frustration. He was not one to show displays of affection to anyone, not even a thought about kissing anyone.

Yet, there she was humming a song in the garden, looking more beautiful than the day before. Everything about her from her brilliant blue eyes, how the sun shined on her silver hair, the way she smiled, to the way she carried herself had done him in. He could not go more than a few minutes without thinking about her. Wanting more than just to kiss her forehead. He quietly stepped away from his position and closer to the door taking him back inside the upper halls.

He found himself moving to his personal study, his own sanctuary away from the evils of the world. He could not explain why he felt this way about her and no matter how hard he tried he could not shake them. There was a light around her that at each glance, each touch, and each smile broke down this wall he had built to keep others out.

Erys was everything bright, beautiful, and brilliant in his world, even without her past memories, her presence brought something new and unfamiliar to him. He had always kept to himself except on the occasions of freeing slaves and visiting Mythal or his spirit friends from the fade. The Evanuris on called on him when they needed his talents to take care of tasks for them.

Unable to find something to preoccupy his thoughts, he left his study, and found himself going to her. He was aware of where his feet guided him, yet there was little he could do to stop himself from this path. Her room was not far from him now. He hoped that she was not there, giving him more time, more space to think rationally. There was the soft sound of footsteps walking behind him as he reached her door.

“Solas?” He turned to face whoever had called out his name, there was only one who could speak his name so gently, and there she was in all of her delicate beauty, standing right in front of him.

Erys cleared her throat softly, waiting for any form of an answer from him. She knew that he had been watching her while she was in the garden. She knew that he had avoided her for the majority of the day, crossing her arms, she stood still. Yet he still said nothing.

“I know you have avoided me all day,” she said plainly, “you can continue to be in the shadows….or we can talk about whatever seems to be bothering you.”

She uncrossed her arms and tucked them behind the small of her back, “I do hope you would rather talk about it versus us continuing to exist this way. Skyhold is only so large.”

Her eyes now clouded, the brilliance of her blue eyes gone. “After you,” opening her bedroom door, “we must speak, but even the walls have ears.”

She entered her room and took a seat at the edge of her bed, he followed behind her sealing the door shut with a spell. She watched him as he stood in front of her, the unease on his face was readable.

“You have nothing to fear with me Solas, I still do not understand why you would avoid me, did I do something?” Her question did not fall easily off her tongue. She knew that she did nothing wrong, if accepting who he is was wrong, then she did not want to be right.

Solas finally chuckled, “you did nothing wrong Erys, I do not see where you could ever be wrong.” He knew he could no longer avoid her, the questions, or her feelings towards him. She had grown close to him never once did she show the slightest fear of him. Not even when he visited her after rescuing her from the forest. “I am not sure how I should speak to you about this, I avoided you because I, myself know there is better for you than me.”

She paused, letting the silence fill the space once more before speaking. Standing up from her spot, she walked a few steps towards him, taking his left hand in her right.

“And how would you know what I need," she placed his hand on her cheek, holding it there, knowing what her intentions were, she saw his eyes focus on his hand on her cheek. 

"What I know is I care for you Solas, no matter how the others see you, I am not afraid," she let go of his hand and allowed him to make the choice to keep it there or to take it away.

To her surprise, he did not remove his hand from her cheek.

“You have a brilliance to you that I have never seen before, you are so sure even in the uncertainty," he softly smiled, and all she could think about was the gentleness that he showed when he let his guard down, even in the slightest way.

“I would have never thought in the years since I have been alive, that I of all the elves would have you in front of me,” his eyes showed truth behind his words, “that someone could see through me the way you do.” His thumb rubbed softly against her cheek, his eyes locked on hers, she smiled up at him closing her eyes at his touch.

Locked in her room, away from the worries of the world around them, they exchanged smiles, glances, and whispers of how they truly felt. He had her, and she had him, and all was bright and brilliant in their worlds again. This moment of clarity bringing them together at last, forehead kisses promising her that she had found her vhenan.


	5. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Before you,” he looked deeply into her eyes, “I would have never believed that I could have you.” - Solas

It had been weeks since they had taken a step forward in their relationship, Erys no longer had to chase the answers out of him anymore. She would often come and visit him in his personal study, away from any prying eyes. The guards knew well not to let anyone near their rooms when they were together. Their relationship was still new to him, and he did not want to lose her. Forehead kisses, glances, and whispers was all that had come from that day, but the desire for more grew day-by-day.

He allowed her to journey with him more on his adventures outside of Skyhold. Her new light black armor suited her perfectly in every way, allowing her to move efficiently, still allowing her to move gracefully with the flowing sheer black fabric trailing behind. Her hair was pulled with three separate braids and met to form a wavy ponytail, all held together by a black silk ribbon.

She was naturally gifted with magic and had seen some of her abilities that she could not remember having. He wanted to gift her with a day of focusing on her skills, maybe one day she could even rival his own abilities. He needed her to focus on drawing her magic from the world around her, as if she was breathing.

“Erys, _da’len_ ,” he whispered in her ear, her breath hitched slightly at his breath reaching her ear.

She turned to face him, “is that my name now?” A flirtatious smirk formed on her face, she moved swiftly from his grasp.

“Yes, you are my _da’len_ , you are my _vhenan_ ,” he chuckled, “I call you ‘little one’ because you are quite short for an elf, the first one that I have ever seen.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek, turning bright pink at his touch. “Now,” taking her hands and stretching her arms out in front of her, “close your eyes and sense the magic around you.” He released her hands from his slowly, watching her as she focused on her new task.

****

Erys closed her eyes, using her fingertips to feel for the magic that filled the air around her. She could sense it, it felt bright and pure at her touch. She envisioned white streams of light surrounding her body, sending shivers down her spine.

“Now,” Solas said as he stood behind her, “breath in and feel the magic in the palm of your hand.”

She took in a deep breath, focusing on the magic glowing brightly around her hands, she opened her eyes slowly seeing white light shining in her hands. Her eyes filled with wonder and amazement to see the magic she possessed. Even when she had seen the elves use magic, even with Solas it was never pure white.

“Beautiful,” his voice filled with pure joy, “your magic is as pure as can be.” He embraced her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder, “you will be quite powerful once you learn to control it completely.” He placed his lips on the small of her neck, her body giving way to his embrace.

She turned to face him, still staying in his embrace, “you are quite the tutor,” a smile played on her lips. She grabbed the collar of his armor pulling his face closer to hers. “When is my next lesson vhenan?,” she kissed his cheek softly, she could feel him blush as the color rose on his skin. They stood together in this embrace for a moment, only to be shaken from their own world by the rustle of leaves around them.

“We should go back home now,” she broke from his embrace turning her eyes towards Skyhold. Their moments like this were brief outside of their home, he swore to protect her from those who may still want to harm her. She felt safe in his arms, her mind was at ease when he was near, and she never wanted to forget these new memories.

****

Solas guided her through the forest, holding her small hand in his. “You are safe with me da’len,” his thumb rubbed against the top of her hand.

She was still everything he longed to be, his own passion and knowledge would blind him from seeing a different view. He knew how to rebel, he knew how to be a trickster, and he knew how to cause chaos when necessary…yet, he was still new to love.

With her everything seemed brighter, he could see beyond himself and see the world through her eyes. She was a light in his dark world that he could never replace, and at the same time he feared losing her completely. He looked over at her, she was lost in her own thoughts as well, he was afraid that when she remembered her past, he would no longer matter to her.

“Solas,” she was looking back at him, “I never want to forget you, I want to keep my new life with you always.”

Her eyes showed both fear and love at the same time. “I have found my heart, my home with you,” she squeezed his hand, “I don’t want to remember my old life before you, I want to be yours always and truly.”

He could see in her eyes the fear growing larger taking over her, building a small wall that she may never go away.

“Before you,” he looked deeply into her eyes, “I would have never believed that I could have you.” He paused taking in a deep breath, preparing him for whatever came next.

"You change everything, you make me better…you make me feel alive in a way that I haven’t felt in ages,” he stopped holding her in another embrace. He moved a strand of silver hair away from her face, “I will never let you forget.”

Once they had returned to the hold, he wanted to remain by her side, within his grasp. There was a desire, a hunger in him growing for her touch, her soft kisses, to her hear say his name all of the time. “Da’len, will you stay with me tonight?,” he asked quietly in her ear, making sure no one around them could hear.

Her smile was the only answer that he needed. He held the door open to his room, the sheer curtains blowing in the breeze as he opened the doors to the balcony with just a thought.

****

Erys loved her time alone with him, knowing that he was all she ever needed, that she ever wanted. She found herself following him to the balcony, the view from his room taking her breath away. She felt his arms close around her as she leaned against the railing, his lips softly grazing her neck. She let out a soft moan, to which his lips replied by adding soft kisses to her neck.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she turned to face him, her back now leaning against the railing. She could feel her desire for him growing, yearning for more than just the simple, sweet kisses on her neck. The same desire was clear in his eyes, knowing that he felt the same way as her.

“You are like a wolf,” she whispered in his ears, he pulled her closer to him, his heart beating in time with hers.

He leaned down and placed his lips on hers, soft and gentle at first, but growing deeper as he continued. She moaned softly, their first kiss they shared together was everything and more. His lips adding soft kisses to her forehead, cheeks, and right below her lips before he returned for more. She wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him there, not wanting this moment to end.


	6. Pure Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their love begins to blossom as quick as the seasons can change. Fated to be together in this life.
> 
> “Da’len you are everything and more to me,” he kneeled down in front of her and took her hand, “you have awakened feelings for me that I have never felt before, you deserve all the wonders of the world that I can give you.”

Erys unsure of when she fell asleep after spending the entire evening wrapped in Solas’ arms, woke up to the warmth of his embrace. He was even more handsome as she studied his face while he still slept. She softly brushed her fingertips along his face, studying every scar, his brow, and then his lips. The sparks were still fresh in her mind that she felt when he kissed her for the first time, her spine tingled, every nerve in her body was on fire.

The sunlight streamed in from the balcony, the doors still wide open from the night before. She closed her eyes recalling the evening before. His kisses grew longer, harder, taking her breath away to the point she was in a lustful haze. She allowed her hands to pull him in closer, feeling the muscles under his armor. He was much like a wolf, devouring every part of her sense with each kiss, every kiss more fervent than before. He was the first to pull away from their embrace, he swiftly picked her up and carried her back into his room, placing her gently on the bed.

“ _Da’len_ you are everything and more to me,” he kneeled down in front of her and took her hand, “you have awakened feelings for me that I have never felt before, you deserve all the wonders of the world that I can give you.”

She looked deeply into his eyes, waiting for him to continue, she rubbed her thumb on the top of his hand.

“My love for you is new, exciting, and at times it shakes me,” he kissed her hand, “I want to treasure everything with you a moment at a time, I will never rush you.”

She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips, “ _Vhenan_ , every moment I share with you is breathtaking, I want to spend my life with you.”

She paused, taking in a small breath, his eyes lit up at her words, “I know that when I sleep in your arms tonight and every night, my home is always with you no matter where we may journey.”

****

Solas moved quickly, leaning over her on the edge of his bed, his hands wrapped in her hair, his knee was the only thing keeping them from falling over. She always had a way with her words and her looks, it lit a fire deep within his soul that burned brighter and brighter with her.

He kissed the edge of her lips, trailing his against her skin right on her jaw, she pulled him by the collar of his armor, making both of them fall backwards onto the bed.

“I am not the only wolf,” he mused in her ear, he pulled her closer to him as he laid back on the bed, she rested in his arms. Her reply was not expected, she quickly leaned over him, her arms around his head, her hair falling over her shoulders, she had a wolfish smirk on her face.

He moved swiftly causing her to gasp as he pinned her to the bed, both of her wrists wrapped in his hands, he leaned over her, “ _da’len_ if you keep smiling that way, I may not be able to resist.”

He kissed her one more time, a soft gentle kiss on lips and then once on her forehead as he let go of her wrists.

“ _Vhenan_ , I want to give everything I am to you and only you.” He could hear her heart beating loudly in her chest, her face flushed bright red, she reached out to him and he took her hand in his.

“ _Da’len_ , I promise you that I will let you decided when the time is right,” he pulled her into a warm embrace, his hand cradled the back of her head,

“I will never pressure you or go further than you can handle," he could feel the warmth of her body through his shirt, he gently rubbed the back of her head, “ _ar lath mah, vhenan_.”

He kissed her cheek and held her tight, her arms holding on to him tightly her head buried into his chest.

She looked up at him, kissing him softly on his lips. The moon’s glow illuminated the stone floor in front of them. He had spent so much time wrapped up in her, he had forgotten the time.

“We should rest,” he spoke gently, “you are welcome to any one of my tunics in the wardrobe over there.”

She flashed a quick smile and went to find one of his tunics, she picked one of his favorites and quickly hid behind the curtain to change. He looked away to give her some space, he was knocked back on to the bed as she jumped into his arms.

“Goodnight _da’len_ ,” he kissed her and let her nestle into his arms, holding her tight.

****

Waking from her dream of the night before, she could no longer resist the urge to kiss his lips, moving her face closer to his, leaning in and pressing hers against his. One of his arms pulling her closer to him, while running his fingers through her hair. She kissed him soft, then deeper, until she had to break away to steal a quick breath.

“Good morning _da’len_ ,” he chuckled before placing a soft kiss on the tip of her nose, “I will never tire of waking up to you.”

“And I will never tire of you,” she softly giggled, “but….someone still owes me the rest of my lesson.”

She gave him another quick peck on the lips and jumped out of bed, “I will meet you in the garden once I have changed,” she threw on her pants from the day before. His laughter filled the room as she quickly hurried and ran out of his room to her own.

Her room was untouched from the morning before, except there was a bath drawn for her. The steam was still rising from the silver tub across from her with a new outfit laid out on her bed.

“I need to find a gift for him,” she thought to herself as she quickly undressed.

The warm water felt good against her skin, she submerged herself under the water causing some of it to flow over the edge. It felt good to rid herself of the dirt and sweat from the day before. She cleansed her hair with the smell of vanilla and lavender filled the air, quickly she finished her bath and put on her new outfit.

It was black and dark grey, there was a train that was attached under the corset with several adornments of lacing on the pants and the corset, the sleeves were embellished with leather and lace, and at the neck was a black lace choker. The boots were black and laced in the back allowing her to add her signature touch, a simple bow.

She spun around in the mirror, she had never worn or seen such armor like this before. Pulling back her hair into three simple braids meeting into a high ponytail, she tied it together with the silk ribbon from before, her hair flowed past her shoulders. Without a second glance, she gathered her leather gloves and set off for the garden, he was waiting for her under the tree.

****

Solas turned to face Erys as she entered the garden, no matter what she wore she was beautiful, yet fierce.

She stood on the tips of her toes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, “I am ready for my next lesson.”

Her smile was radiant and bright, he shook his head, he needed to focus on her lesson now, no matter how much he wished for her kisses instead.

He took her hand and led her into the middle of the garden, “I want you to search within yourself _da’len_ , I need you to conjure that orb as you did before.”

He let go of her hand and watched her closely as she breathed in the magic around her, summoning the pure white orb again. Many of his kind did not possess this kind of pure magic, most often it would be a blueish tint, even his no matter how he dared to use it. “Now I want you to take that magic in your hand and turn it into any element you dare.”

He saw the determination build in her eyes the brilliance of her blue was brighter than before. There was a chill in the wind, his breath now visible in the air, he watched her as she began to conjure snow. It was as pure and the light she could conjure, he saw her relax after focusing for several moments and looked at the beauty around her.

The garden now covered in the falling snow; her hair adorned with the snowflakes that settled on it. She ran to him, ecstatic of the beautiful winter scene that was in front of them.

“ _Vhenan_ , is this beautiful?,” she asked him as she hugged him tightly.

“ _Dalen_ , the snow is beautiful,” he whispered in her ears, “but no matter how much of it falls, you are still the one that takes my breath away.” He kissed her on the lips, knowing he could not wait to see what else she could do with magic as pure as hers.


	7. Treasured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He could not sleep, he was afraid to sleep, knowing that if it was not for Mythal, he would never see Erys, his da’len again. - Solas

Erys rarely left Solas’ room and his personal study while he was away, just being in the presence of his rooms gave her peace. She treasured all of the moments she could spend with him, the world was changing around them, as a new restlessness was growing beyond the walls of Skyhold. The Evanuris was growing anxious, the wars between the mages became exhausting. She feared for him every time he had to leave.

He was everything to her, she was home when he was near. There were a few times in the past couple of months that he had to venture out on his own. He promised to protect her and to keep her out of the hands of those who may want to harm her. She knew of his fears for her, and she trusted him completely when he would ask her to stay away from his dealings with the Evanuris.

The agents of Fen’harel were not the most talkative people, and she would get overwhelmed by the amount of silence when he was gone. The stone halls were cold and empty without him. The Evanuris seemed to need him more lately to handle business for them that they did not want to dirty their precious hands with.

She disliked seeing him being used, but it was an arrangement between them that was made long before her. His potential for greatness, to be greater than those who opposed him was obvious. He was powerful both physically and magically, he was good with archery, and he was not afraid to succeed by any means.

She would always find him in his study when he would return from his travels, his desk was always a mess of books and papers. His face showed the wear of the task that he handled. His brow was constantly furrowed, his lips in a firm line, his jaw clenched, and yet it was still as powerful as his smile.

He had gifted her books about magic and spells to read while he was away, she grew stronger in her own abilities and yet he was often busied with his own work, she missed his doting when she would master a spell so quickly. The sun was starting to set outside, the deepening colors started to illuminate the stone floor. She made her way to the main hall, waiting for his return, he promised to be gone only for a few days.

The doors to the main hall slammed open against the walls, she could see the shadows of the agents as they entered, the smell of blood being carried as the wind filled the hall. Her heart sank, imagining the worst could have happened, she ran towards the shadows, praying to whoever was listening that he was safe.

****

The battle lasted for three days between two of the mages from the Evanuris, taking all the strength he had. He had lost many of his agents and Mythal had lost several of her guards. If it was not for Mythal’s actions, the amount of lives that could have been lost would include his own. There was always a war between the Evanuris as they battled to see who was strongest, who could be the ultimate elven ‘god.’

Mythal stood between the waring mages and commanded them to stop, her own dealings within the Evanuris was trying to keep the peace between their trifles. It was always their slaves, their guards, and anyone who stood in their way that would get injured or killed. He knew it would not be long before the Evanuris would turn on one of their own and strike them down. As strong and cunning as she was, Mythal brought them to their feet, blood pooling on the ground from the several wounded and dead.

“Solas,” Mythal using her magic to speak to him, keeping the mages unaware of her plans, “go now before they seek to continue this further, I will manage them.” Mythal could see he was exhausted and if he stayed any longer, she would lose one of her friends.

He nodded and cloaked himself in the shadows, keeping the eyes of the mages off him as he left the bloodied scene. The voices of Mythal and the two mages carried through the wind, he moved swiftly until he could no longer hear them.

The journey back to Skyhold would be long, he winced in pain, now noticing the blood soaking through his armor, droplets falling off of his left hand. He looked at his agents covered in blood of their adversaries and their own, bruised and exhausted.

Tonight, they would rest under the shadows of the trees around them before returning home. He could feel that the wound was deep, he tried to heal it with the little bit of magic he could muster, easing the pain a little. He could not sleep, he was afraid to sleep, knowing that if it was not for Mythal, he would never see Erys, his da’len again.

The journey home was long, he missed Erys, he hoped that he could return without her seeing him in this state. He knew she worried about him whenever he was away, she would hold onto him and refused to let him out of her sight, even for a second. Thinking of her gave him the strength to continue, forgetting the pain he felt as the wound tore open again on the left side of his chest.

The sun was beginning to set as they made their way to entrance of the main hall, and there she was her eyes wide as she ran towards him. “Vhenan,” she cried as he felt his body slump forward into her arms, everything around him went black.

****

Erys commanded the guards to move Solas to his room, he was too heavy for her to move alone. Her tunic was soaked in his blood, tears streaming down her face, she knew that if the wound did not stop bleeding, she could lose him.

She shook her head, keeping those dark, painful thoughts away, he needed her now. The guards had placed him on the bed and returned to their posts, two of his trusted guards stood outside of the room.  
She removed his blood-soaked armor and saw the wound on his chest was still fresh. It needed to be cleaned, she delicately ran a wet towel over the wound, cleaning the mix of fresh and dried blood away.

His heartbeat was weak yet steady, his breath shallower than normal, she saw him wince as she cleaned the wound. With the blood washed away, the wound was deeper than she had imagined, she placed her hand over the wound, closed her eyes and drew from the magic surrounding her.

White light illuminated the room, twinkling orbs circled them as she willed the wound to heal. She could feel the wound healing underneath her hand, the tingle of magic escaping her body as it flowed from her to him.

“ _Ar lath ma, vhenan_ ,’ she whispered as the white light began to fade around them. She removed her hand from his chest, the wound no longer to be seen, except a small white scar from where it was before.

His breathing was no longer shallow, his heartbeat was strong and steady, she slowly rose from the bed and felt the lightheadedness that followed. She allowed the moment to pass before she began her search for a new tunic and clean sheets.

Quickly finding the tunic and the sheets, she dressed him with a new tunic and worked around him as she replaced the sheets. The fresh air entering the room from the large balcony across the bed, removing the scent of blood from the room.

She drew a bath for herself, being as quiet as possible allowing him to rest. He was home, he was safe, and he would live. She undressed and set aside her clothes, she eased herself into the bath, letting her body to sink below the water, the blood no longer on her pale skin. She softly gasped for air as she returned to the surface, the tears and silent sobs wracked her body.

The thought of losing him was unbearable, to know that in an instant he could have been gone forever was frightening. He was the light in her life that she never wanted to see extinguished. She thanked the spirits, she thanked whoever had saved him in her prayer. She grabbed a towel by the bath and dried off, stealing one of his tunics for bed.

Quietly walking back to his bed, she covered them in the new sheets and turned to face him. The candles still glowing brightly around them against the moons glow, illuminating his face now peaceful as he slept.

She held onto his hand and kissed it, “ _vhenan_ , I am nothing without you,” the tears started to stream down her face.

She snuggled into his body, kissing his lips softly, a sleepy smile formed on his face, “I love you.”

Closing her eyes, she held onto his hand tightly, refusing to let go.


	8. First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He loved her with everything he had, he knew that after their first time together he could no longer leave her side. He could not afford to lose the most important person in his life, and he knew she could not afford to lose him. “I promise to love you forever” he tilted her chin to lookup at him, “da’len, I love you.”

Erys slowly stirred from her slumber, she could feel the warmth of his hand still in hers. He was still fast asleep next to her, his face covered by the glow of the sunlight streaming in from the balcony. She kissed the back of his hand and rubbed it with her thumb, she refused to leave his side. Her dreams haunted her, leaving her restless and afraid. She would wake from her sleep, only to make sure that he was still alive. Her dreams were a reminder of what would have happened if he never was healed.

If he had not made it back to Skyhold in time, if he died in the battle, all of the ‘ifs’ played in her mind. She knew her life without him would be empty, there was no one who could take his place. The Evanuris would destroy their own in the hopes of becoming a ‘god’, sacrificing anyone who helped or stood in their way.

“Thank you,” she whispered to whoever was listening, “thank you for bringing him back home.” She kissed his hand one more time, allowing her lips to stay there.

A wave of comfort washed over her when she started to hear him stir from his slumber. The world became brighter, but the darkness still clung to the back of her mind. “Solas,” she let out a soft cry as he turned to face her, she buried her head against his neck, holding onto him tightly. She could not hold back the tears that fell, soaking through the neck of his tunic. His hand stroked the back of her head, while the other held her tightly against him.

She pressed her body against his, feeling the warmth of his breath against her ear caused her to shiver.

“ _Da’len_ ,” his voice was raspy, he softly kissed her cheek, “no more tears, I am sorry to have worried you so.”

  
He gently moved her face to look at him, his grey-brown eyes misted by the tears that wished to escape. In their time together, she had never seen him cry in front of her. She placed her hand on his chest, and kissed him softly, her tears still streaming down her face.

****

Solas slowly sat up, keeping her in his embrace, slowly moving his hands out of her hair. He gently placed his hands at the small of her back, pulling her closer into him, tears now slowly trickled down his face.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he whispered in her ear. He felt her whole body move as she now sat on his lap, her brilliant blue eyes looking up at him.

Her eyes gave way to her desire, the smolder she gave him as she moved her hand slightly on his chest. He lightly kissed her neck, “I want you, all of you da’len, I love you with all that I am.”

His lips lingered, barely touching her, his hands moving up and down her back. Her lips crashed onto his, his body tingled at her touch, a small moan escaped his lips. Every part of him needed more of her, passionate kisses and tender touches were not enough for him anymore.

“ _Vhenan_ , take all of me,” her lips brushed against his ear, “I cannot wait any longer to be yours.”

Her hand trailed lower down his chest, just above his waist and stopped there, a wolfish smirk on her face. He could resist her no longer, he needed to feel himself inside of her, to touch and kiss every part of her, to be one with her. He slowly lifted her tunic over her head, revealing her perfectly small breasts. He laid her on her back, and tenderly placed his lips on one, kissing and sucking tenderly. Her back arched as a moan escaped her lips, he felt himself burn with desire.

She tugged at his tunic, removing it for his body, her hands softly feeling his chest, his stomach, his shoulders. He sucked gently on her breast, a slightly louder moan as she dug her fingers into his back. He stood up quickly, removing the rest of his garments from him. She gasped as her eyes trailed down his body, stopping below his waist. He throbbed for her, he could wait no longer

****

Erys moved swiftly, now pressing her body against his, letting one of her fingers trace circles on his body. She felt him press against her, a moan escaped her lips as his hardness pressed into her stomach. She could feel herself grow wetter as she touched him.

“Take me,” she let her hand softly drop, her hand right above him. His eyes were filled with hunger, he leaned down to kiss her, biting her bottom lip.

He let out a soft growl, picking her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist. “I want to feel you inside of me,” she roughly kissed his lips, flicking the bottom of his lip with her tongue. He laid her in the bed, lowering himself slowly, kissing his way back up to her lips.

“Take me, _vhenan_ ,” she growled her hands pulling his waist into hers.

She felt one of his hands move between her thighs, slowly moving closer to her center.

“I want to cherish our first time, da’len,” he nibbled on her earlobe, she began to breath heavily at the smallest touch. His hand softly massaged her center, her wetness pooling out of her.

Her eyes grew wide as he slowly inserted a finger into her, his thumb rubbing at her spot. She could no longer keep sense of her body, her back arched and several moans escaped her lips.

****

Solas loved the look on her face as he slowly felt her center, he could no longer ignore his throbbing desire to be inside her. He removed his finger from her center and positioned himself to enter her.

“This may hurt _da’len_ ,” he remembered that he was her first, he softly kissed her lips and entered her center. She was tight and extremely wet, he felt himself against the wall to innocence.

Her body shook slightly underneath his as he pressed further in, filling all of her. Her nails dug into his back as she released the loudest moan, tears formed as she arched her back. He moved slowly inside of her at first, thrusting gently waiting for her sign.

"I…love….you” she gasped as he started to thrust deeper into her.

He could feel that he could go no longer, moving faster, thrusting harder into her. Her nails digging deeper into his back, her gasps and moans taking over her, she was close to release. He thrust one last time, feeling himself empty into her as her body released into him.

He saw as her eyes fluttered slightly at her release. He slowly removed himself from her center and laid next to her, kissing her softly on her lips. Both out of breath, he pulled her into him, her head resting on his chest.

He loved her with everything he had, he knew that after their first time together he could no longer leave her side. He could not afford to lose the most important person in his life, and he knew she could not afford to lose him.

“I promise to love you forever” he titled her chin to look up at him, “ _da’len_ , I love you.”

They laid together for a while, watching the sun as it continued to rise into the afternoon sky.


	9. Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erys heard him softly sigh, her heart sinking in her chest, hearing the question on his lips. “Vhenan, you were never unworthy to be loved like this,” she brushed her lips against his ear, “you have always deserved to be loved like this, I love you.” She placed a kiss on his cheek, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her heartbeat beating in time with his, connected in every way.

Solas moved a piece of hair behind Erys’ ear, there was a glow about her as she sat beside him. It had been days since their relationship blossomed further, he was smitten with her, a smile always formed on his lips when she was near. She was attached to his hip, his hand always was found within hers, he was captivated by her, allowing himself to give in to his desires. He no longer cared who saw them in Skyhold, making sure the others knew she belonged to him, and only him.

She sat beside him on the floor of his study, her head resting on his shoulder as she read a precious spell book of his. He smiled remembering how wide her brilliant blue eyes were when he handed the worn leather book, her excitement at the simplest of gifts a reminder to enjoy the smaller things. Each kiss, each look, each smile from her was the best gift that he could ever receive. Her voice was soft and soothing, like a lullaby while she read the spells in the book.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he softly kissed her, “I have a surprise for you later this evening.”

He tilted her head towards his, her eyes no longer looking down at the pages before her, the shimmer of her eyes sparkled in the candlelight. Her eyes were a mix of blues, as if the ocean kissed the sky within them.

“You will find something designed especially for you to wear this evening,” he let his fingers slightly trail against her jaw, he could feel her shiver slightly at his touch.

She was his match, the missing part of him that he did not know existed. The light that burned brightly against the darkness he felt, the one who could challenge him, make him see what he could not in front of him.  
Tonight, he would cherish her again, he wanted to give her something he had held onto, hidden locked away in his desk drawer.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap, placing his forehead on hers, “ _da’len_ , how am I worthy of such love like this?”

****

Erys heard him softly sigh, her heart sinking in her chest, hearing the question on his lips.

“ _Vhenan_ , you were never unworthy to be loved like this,” she brushed her lips against his ear, “you have always deserved to be loved like this, I love you.”

She placed a kiss on his cheek, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her heartbeat beating in time with his, connected in every way. She thanked whoever was listening for giving her the greatest gift of all, him.

The candlelight began to dim in the study, his eyes smoldering while he looked at her.

“If we continue to stay in here,” his voice had a slight huskiness to it, “I am afraid we will never make it out before evening.”

He placed one last kiss on her lips, allowing her to slowly break their embrace.

Now standing, he placed his hand on her cheek, “ _go da’len_ , if you stay in this room any longer, I am sure I will not be able to let you go.” He moved his hand from her face and turned to face the shelves, she embraced him one last time and turned to go.

She could not help but smile, thinking of him as she walked back to their room. There was nothing she could do to contain the excitement she felt about this evening, he had a gift for her, and she had hidden away a gift she had made for him. She had hidden it away in a wooden box within her closet, she removed the key hidden in her boot and unlocked it. The brown leather was thin and intricately woven around a jawbone from a wolf, she carefully placed it back within the box, wondering what he would think of such a gift.

On the bed laid a beautiful gown, as dark as midnight with hints of silver sparkle throughout the lace. She left the gown lying on the bed, longing to rinse off, the bath already drawn for her. Red roses floated on the surface of the water, she softly smiled, he was full of surprises today.

She quickly undressed, tossing her clothes aside, the water was warm and inviting. Tonight, she wanted to leave him breathless, she took great care in washing her hair, working the lavender and vanilla soap into her silver hair. She allowed herself to enjoy a moment, laying in the tub and starring at the wooden ceiling above her.

The sunlight was slowly drifting away from the tub. She dried off quickly and wrapped the towel around her letting her hair dry naturally, wet footprints trailed behind her as she walked to the bed. The black dress fit like a glove, hugging every curve of her body as she laced it, leaving her shoulders bare, she spun slowly in front of the mirror taking in the beauty of the dress. Her eyes shined brighter against her skin and the silver of hair matched the sparkles in the dress. She eyed the thigh-high slit in the dress, showing off her left leg, a smirk played on her lips as laced the matching boots.

She used a little bit of magic to dry her hair, her delicate waves framing her face. The sunlight was now on the balcony, it was time to make her way to the main hall. She picked up the wooden box and held it close to her chest as she made her way to him. Her heart racing in her chest, as he stood before her now in his matching attire. His jacket lined with silver threading on top of his all black tunic and pants.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she smiled brightly, taking in all of him. She held the chest even tighter against her, he was striking. Excitement and nervousness coursed through her veins.

****

Solas breathed deeply, looking at how breathtaking Erys looked in her gown. His eyes wandered slowly from the slit in her dress, the bareness of her shoulders, all the way up to her eyes. Her silver hair was beautiful, the gentle waves brought out the features on her face. He swore to himself that her beauty knew no bounds, no matter what she wore she was a stunning.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he held out his hand offering it to her, she took it slowly, still holding the wooden chest against her.

He led her out of the main hall into the garden, he could hear her gasp in wonder as she walked beside him. There were lanterns hung in the trees lighting a pathway in front of them. He walked with her until they were in the center of the garden,.

“Erys, _da’len_ ,” he whispered in her ear, “there are few words to describe how beautiful you look tonight,” he leaned down and softly kissed her lips.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she placed one hand on his chest, “I have a surprise for you tonight.”

Her eyes looked down at the chest in her hands, “I hope that you will like it.”

She handed him the chest with the key already inside the lock, he smiled at her and turned the key. Inside was a jawbone from a wolf, delicately tied together with brown leather, he allowed the chest to fall out of his hand to the ground.

“Do you,” he looked up at her as she asked, “do you like it?”

He smiled at her and pulled her into his embrace, “it is perfect, and I would like to give you the honor of putting it on.”

A jawbone of a wolf seemed quite fitting of his name, he would wear this gift as a sign of his pride in his name. He handed her the necklace and leaned down so she could place it around his neck.

Her hands grazed his neck lightly, any form of her touch set his heart racing, he swiftly picked her up and held her in a long embrace. Her skin was soft and warm, her hair smelled of lavender and vanilla, he could no longer wait to give her his gift.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he placed her back down on the ground, “I have something for you as well, and I can no longer wait to give it to you.”

He took her hand, leading them out of the garden to a secret passage back to their room. He could hear her gasp at the surprise of this passage that he knew she had never found during one of her wanderings in Skyhold. He could barely contain his laughter; she was truly different than all the rest of his kind.

“Wait on the balcony for me,” he opened the hidden door to their room. She nodded, smiled brightly and went out onto the balcony without question. He walked over to his desk and retrieved the two matching silver rings from his locked drawer.

These rings were imbued with magic, hidden elven writing that would only glow when called upon by those who wore them. He had found them long ago on one of his many journeys out of Skyhold, the wearers of the rings had passed long ago, leaving them locked away in a box waiting for someone to find them.

He closed the drawer to desk and held the rings tightly in his hand and walked out onto the balcony to join her. There she was leaning out on the railing looking out into the sky drenched in starlight. He used his magic to light the lanterns that hung on the balcony, the blue light of the flame giving a soft glow around them.

“ _Da’len_ ,” she turned to face him and smiled, “will you do me the honor of wearing this ring?”

He took her left hand and placed a silver ring with a white stone in the center upon her small, delicate finger.

He could see tears that escaped her eyes, her eyes showing how overwhelmed with joy she was when he placed the ring on her finger. She kissed him eagerly, reaching up on her tiptoes to place her lips on his.

“Yes, _vhenan_ ,” her voice trembled with joy, “I love you, a thousand times yes.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, carrying her back into the room and sat her on the top of his desk.

“Would you do me the honor of placing my ring on my hand, _da’len_ ,” he kissed her lips and then her neck, placing his ring in her hand. She grabbed his left hand and placed the silver band with a black stone in the center on his finger.

“No matter where I may go, or if we ever get separated,” he looked into her brilliant blue eyes, “these rings will bind us together with magic and I will always be with you.” He kissed her fiercely, his hand holding hers tightly against his chest now.

****

Erys could feel his heartbeat beneath her hand, it was racing wildly, his body trembled at her touch. She had everything she could ever desire, ever need in front of her. His lips parted slightly underneath hers and she kissed him, biting softly on his bottom lip. His hand released hers and moved to her exposed leg in the gown, she shivered as he lightly moved his fingers on her skin.

She leaned back slightly, making him follow her lips, his free hand now moving up and down the side of her neck. She breathed in heavily, his touch was intoxicating to her, she could feel herself hunger for him. She had waited patiently since there first time together for another moment of passion.

Tonight, she was going to make sure that this evening was going to be even more. She placed her hands on the collar of his jacket and began to pull it away from him, he followed suit and shrugged it off letting it fall to the floor.

That was not enough, his tunic was still in the way, it was unfair that he was still dressed. She pulled at his tunic, leaning forward to pull it over his head. He was intoxicating to look at, the scars on his body told their own story apart from the one she had healed, that scar white against his skin. His body was toned, his arms were strong as he pulled her into him, biting her neck.

“You do not know what power you have over me,” he bit into her neck once more, “ _da’len_ , tonight will be a night we will never forget.”

****

Solas unlaced the back of her gown, allowing the bodice to fall to her waist, everything about her was delicate and beautiful. He placed soft kissed down her neck, to her shoulders, leaving no part of her untouched. Her body shivered at each kiss, her lips giving way to soft moans. He felt her legs wrapped around him, and he swiftly lifted her up and carried her to the bed. He could hear her shoes hitting the floor behind them.

He allowed her to fall softly on the bed before placing himself above her. Her hands grabbed at his shoulders, bringing him closer to her. Tonight, would be better than their first, tonight he would give in to all of his desires. He pulled at the waist of the dress, she fumbled with her hands to remove it from her body.

A wolfish grin formed on his face, she had prepared for tonight, her body was bare beneath his. “Now it is your turn to finish undressing,” he was met by an equally wolfish grin.

She moved underneath him, slowly she kneeled in front of him at the edge of the bed, he stood before her. Her fingers were quick, unlacing his pants and moving them down from his waist. He kicked off his boots and he finished removing his pants and small clothes and let them fall to the floor. There was no hiding himself from her, he was free, fully aroused, hard and throbbing for her.

Her eyes were like blue fire, smoldering as she looked at him. He couldn’t take it any longer, when she bit her lip that was all it took. He moved on top of her, his teeth grazing at the base of her neck, while one of his hands searched lower on her body. He lips followed his hand, leaving a trail of kisses all the way to her center, his hand massaged the inner of her thigh.

****

There was no more controlling her moans, her breaths quickening as he massaged closer to her center. She grabbed at the sheets beneath her, balling them up in her hands. His mouth found her center, his tongue softly caressing her spot, her wetness continued to flow out of her.

She gasped as he slid his finger into her, his tongue still massaging her spot, she trembled as her nerves were set aflame. Her breathing now gasps of breaths as he began to move his finger in and out. “Vhenan,” she cried out, her body was his, her control was gone. He licked his lips and softly kissed his way back up to hers, his fingers still moving inside of her as his thumb massaged her spot.

His lips met hers, he kissed her roughly and tugged at her bottom lip, she could feel him press into her. He was hard, he was hot, and she could take no more waiting to feel him inside her again. “Vhenan,” she mustered through her moans, it took one look and his mouth was on hers again.

He removed his fingers quickly, and teased her with his tip at her entrance, she took him in her hands and lead him into her. Her body arched under him as he entered her, he was tight within her. He moved slowly in and out of her, her fingers pulled at the skin on his back. She could feel her nails drag on his skin, leaving red lines against it.

She flicked her tongue against his lip, his eyes darkened with desire kissed her roughly, letting his tongue brush against hers. Her body was on fire, he pulsed deeper and harder within her and she could feel herself at her edge. He throbbed inside of her, his breathing sporadic as he moved faster within her, she could tell he was at his climax.

She pulled him into her, bringing him further inside of her, moaning loudly one last time. Her body trembled underneath his as she felt herself let go, her body climaxing at the same time as him. He kissed her as he came inside of her, his body softly sinking into hers. He slowly pulled out of her, pulling her into his body as he laid back on the bed. Her legs woven into his as they laid on top of the bed, the breeze cooling down her skin.

She ran her fingers along his chest, drawing small circles as he looked deeply into her eyes. He kissed her forehead and then her lips, lingering as he slowly left them.


	10. A Light in the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The light pushing through the darkness in his heart, filling the deep wounds with her light. His pain flowed through her as the light left her body, her heart breaking at the deep wounds within him. She moved a hand away from his face, placing it on his chest, his heart beating underneath her fingertips".

Winter had made its mark on Skyhold, the grounds now covered in pure white. Fire burned brightly in the hearth across from the bed, the balcony doors now closed keeping the cold, unforgiving air outside. Solas softly stroked Erys’ face, she was still fast asleep in his arms, her body intertwined in his under the blankets. He wondered what she dreamed about as he watched her awhile longer before slowly disentangling himself from her.

He sat next to her, his hands softly brushing through her long silver hair, she smiled in her sleep. The silver of her hair reminded him of starlight, the memory of asking her to wear his ring replayed in his mind. Her tears of joy, her kisses, her touches, her voice when she said, “I love you.” His eyes misted at the thoughts of her, for once he knew he was truly no longer alone.

His life was solitary before her, despite all that he had done for his people. Despite his close friendship with Mythal. Even then, those in his circle only knew what he allowed them to see. And Erys, saw right through him, the pain that he carried within his heart. The darkness, that clouded his judgment, leading him on a path of trickery and deceit. He handled his tasks in any way he saw fit, refusing to see the light in any situation.

There were many walls within him that he refused to let anyone break through, yet there she was lying next to him as real as she could be. To imagine his life without her…. Where would he be now if he chose to ignore that voice calling out to him?

Sadness creeped into his thoughts, remembering how fragile she was when he had found her. She was no longer a fragile elf that he found dying in the forest, she was stronger, fiercer, and lovelier than he could have imagined then. He had allowed himself to give into the voice that called him that day, allowing himself against his better judgment to take her back to his hold.

He shook his head, refusing to allow that thought to exist any longer. She expressed herself freely, the confidence she carried even in uncertainty, and her refusal to give up on him. Her love that slowly started to crumble the walls he had put up, the ones to protect him from others and mostly from himself. He wished for everything to stay this way, her always by his side. Softly he traced his fingers against her brow, her nose, then her lips, slowly pulling his hand away as she shivered from him touch.

She slowly opened her eyes, her blue eyes adjusting to the soft light in the room, taking his hand in hers, “good morning _vhenan_.”

Her soft, sleepy voice was soothing, one look from her brilliant blue eyes and he fell. The emotions that had been locked away for years, the ones he slowly started to share with her, his tears slowly falling like the snowflakes outside.

****

For the first time, Erys saw Solas let one of his walls down. The tears that slowly streamed down his face, she embraced him and held onto him tightly.

“I am here,” she placed her hand on the back of his head, the other on his shoulder, “I am here.”

His body shook underneath hers, his hands trembled against her back, his warm tears falling onto her shoulder soaking the tunic she wore. She was no longer able to hold back the tears that filled her eyes, softly placing her hands on his face, her forehead against his, his eyes closed as the tears still fell.

“Listen,” a voice she had heard once before was at her ear, “find the light inside of you.”

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to search for this voice. She could see a white light inside of her, overflowing and searching for a way out.

“Let your light touch him,” the voice now filling her mind, “breath and let go.”

She had summoned her light magic before when she had healed him. Her inexperience with her own magic frightened her, afraid that if she followed the voice, she would not be able to return to herself. The light called her, beckoning her to share her light with him, to allow herself to see the darkest parts of him that were hidden deep within his heart.

His trembling hands brought her back to surface of their reality, and as the voice had commanded, she took and breath and let go. She drew on the energy she felt inside of her, burning bright, reaching into the depths of her own soul. White light flowed from her hands into him once more, the white stone glowing on the ring of her left hand. She closed her eyes, the light now connecting a part of her with him.

The light pushing through the darkness in his heart, filling the deep wounds with her light. His pain flowed through her as the light left her body, her heart breaking at the deep wounds within him. She moved a hand away from his face, placing it on his chest, his heart beating underneath her fingertips. Her heart pounding in her chest as she continued to push past the surface of years’ worth of darkness.

Every part of him that was locked away was now a part of her, the light she exchanged to dispel the darkness inside of him. The darkness that he had held onto for so long flowed within her now, every part of them belonging to each other. Her eyes still flowed with tears and she relived his darkest memories, the pain, the loneliness, every thought that was his now belonged to her, and hers with him.

****

Solas could feel the lights warmth as it pulsed through him, placing his hand over Erys’, he could feel parts of his own darkness leave him. He looked up into her eyes and saw that white light had replaced her blue, the tears still streaming down her face. There had been hints of how strong she was with her magic, the control he saw from her now left him in awe. He had felt this light before when she had healed him, the scar on his chest a reminder.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he called to her hoping to wake her, he pulled her gently into his embrace and the light that he felt remained.

The darkness that still existed within his own heart did not give way easily to her light, yet, she had made her own mark within him that could never be taken away. The ring on his hand glowed black, shining as brightly as hers, every part of them now as one.

Her power has left him in awe, he had seen small glimpses of it when they trained, but he had never witnessed it in its splendor. Her soul was pure as the light that he felt flow from her, piercing through the darkest parts of him. Light magic such as hers was a rare talent, there had been stories of elves who could control the light that surrounded them, an ability that was thought to be lost. Yet, there in his arms, as tiny and delicate as she was, she could do what seemed impossible.

He mulled over the thoughts in his head, whoever was after her, did not want her to exist, seeking to extinguish her power. He thanked whoever the voice was that lead him to her that day. He smiled as he held her, feeling the light pulse through his veins. She was a light in the darkness, always pushing through, illuminating his life with new feelings and memories, changing how he even saw himself.

Her happiest memories, thoughts, and feelings filled his mind, each one brighter than the last. He saw him through her eyes, and he focused on the light within him now, in her eyes he was, he was her everything and no matter his walls she would love him with everything she had.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he kissed her lips lightly, feeling her stir in his arms, there was no denying how much she had changed him.

The fire crackling in the hearth continued to spread its warmth into the room as the snow fell silently outside. He promised that today he would do better not only for her, he would do everything in his own power to fight his own darkness that lurked still.


	11. Essence

Everything was hazy as Erys opened her eyes, the barren landscape laid out before her, no signs of life, no signs of Solas. Nothing here was familiar, she opened her mouth to scream, hoping someone was there, nothing came out of her open mouth, her voice but a whisper.

A small wave panic took over her, searching for a way out of this strange place. There was a heaviness around her, making it impossible to stand. She could feel someone watching her from the shadows, hidden within the thick black haze.

Her blue eyes opened wide at the sight of a giant black wolf making its way towards her, its six eyes glowing red staring at her. The shadows still falling off its fur as it moved closer.

It sat in front of her, a soft, low growl escaping from its slightly barred teeth, she stayed seated, knowing that even if she could flee, the wolf would be following. Yet she thought, even as menacing as it appeared before, its teeth no longer barred, placed its head gently on her lap. Her hands moved on their own, stroking the wolf’s fur lightly, its eyes closing at her touch. She thought to herself, “who are you, so fierce but yet gentle,” the wolf’s eyes opened gazing into hers.

She felt her body follow a silent command as the wolf stood, still gazing deeply into her eyes. She felt her bones ache, pain surging through her spine, the feeling of fire coursing through her veins. The white light returned, surging, enveloping her body as she screamed internally from the pain.

Her limbs shifting, growing longer, her face taking a new shape, as white fur covered her skin as every part of her took on a new form. A howl escaped her lips, as she took on her new form, the black wolf howling in return. It nuzzled its head against hers, her body relaxing at its touch and in that moment, she knew who it was.

Moving away from her, its red eyes shifted to a glowing bright blue, while a thick black haze swept over them both. She watched from the shadows as the wolf changed form, the great wolf now taking the shape of an elven man.

Her blue eyes opened wide as Solas stood before her, his eyes taking in all that she was now, a smile formed on his lips, there was acceptance in his eyes as he let out a soft sigh. She nuzzled her head against his shoulder, bowing her head to his feet.

He brushed his hand against her fur, murmuring something she could not understand. His eyes, still glowing, looked deep into hers, she shivered slightly knowing that he could see deep within her.

 _“Da’len_ ,” he held out his left hand, his ring glowing black as he placed his hand against her white fur.

She lowered her head to look into his eyes, knowing where she was now, the white light returning enveloping her once again. Her body commanding her to return, seeking to free her from her spiritual form.

Her spine snapped giving way to her petite frame, the fire returning to her veins, her limbs taking back their former shape. The last howl escaping her muzzle before becoming a painful cry.  
Her body ached from the shifting, her voice still mute, she grabbed for his hand, her ring glowing white. His touch calmed the pain she felt, the

“ _Da’len_ ,” he spoke to her one last time, his eyes now changing back to her loves brown-gray, “it’s time to wake up.”

She held onto his hand awhile longer, the black haze drawing closer to them. He smiled one last time before disappearing into the shadows.

She closed her eyes, letting her body fall into the shadows around her, hoping that it would lead her back home.

****

Solas froze as Erys jolted up out of his arms, her body shaking uncontrollably, her eyes glowing bright white as they had moments before. He gently placed his hand on her back, the chill on her body was cold to his touch.

“ _Da’len_ ,” his voice filled with concern. Her eyes slowly changing back to her blue, her body finally relaxing at the touch of his hand.

He took her in his arms slowly, wrapping her back into his chest, his chin resting on her shoulder, “ _da’len_ , you are safe.”

He could feel the warmth returning to her body as he held her, her head nuzzled into his chest. He could feel the energy seeping from her skin, the touch of the fade from her dream still fresh in her mind as he closed his eyes linking his mind to hers.

He drew from her memories, the visions she had seen, and there she was alone, frightened waking to his shifted form.

The great black wolf…

Her body shifted, changing while hidden in the glow of her white light, a great white wolf much like his own. He had never shown himself to her as his spirit form, for the simple fear that she may turn away. And still, knowing that she loved him despite everything he was.

He broke the link between them and gently lifted her up in his arms, turning her to face him, she was crying, he could feel the shame, the fear, the awe as he held her.

She nestled into his shoulder once more, moving slightly in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist, her hands clinging tightly on his shoulders. He held her tight, giving her the silent comfort that she needed, knowing more moments like these would come.

His heart was heavy, wishing he could trade places with her, knowing she did not deserve to endure such from her dream. Everything between them had changed by her own hand, and he hoped that she would stay by his side, mixed with the fear she could walk away.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he kissed the top of her head, letting his lips linger before he rested his chin on top of her head, waiting, refusing to let go.

He moved slightly, allowing her to look up at him. He softly placed a hand on her face, his thumb stroking her cheek lightly. She closed her eyes for a moment, relaxing into his touch.

“The only pain that has been caused is my own,” she looked into his worried eyes, “this was my own doing, I love you _vhenan_ , nothing will ever change that.”

She kissed him lightly, reassuring him that she was still here, no matter the darkness, no matter the pain, their love would endure. He pulled her in to him, deepening their kiss, his hands holding her face, refusing to let go.

****

Erys sighed as she slowly broke their kiss, she looked up at Solas, a soft smile on her lips. His hands still on her face, she slowly brought her hands up wrapping them around his wrist.  
“When you are ready,” she looked at him, his face still full of worry, “I want to know more of the fade.”

She looked at him, his eyes showing every fear, every worry he had before. There were no more secrets between them. His knowledge, his fears, everything was linked to her.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she whispered softly, waiting for him to reply, prepared for him to say ‘no.’

The silence filled the space between them, the fire crackling beside them the only sound besides their hearts beating. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, moving his hands from her face to her shoulders.

“Dreaming in the fade is not an easy task _da’len_ ,” his expression a mixture of worry and seriousness, “it is something that has taken me years to understand, and in a brief moment for you to shift into your own spiritual form.”

She furrowed her brow, knowing fully well he wanted to keep her safe a little while longer, his expression slowly softening. He moved a piece of hair behind her ear gently, his eyes full of concern.

“If you intend to learn more about the fade, you will have to focus,” his voice serious, “the fade is still a mystery that even the strongest of our kind have faltered.”

She looked at him, intently staring into his eyes, she knew why he had held back for so long on showing her this other part to him. No matter the darkness within in him, no matter who he could become, he was a part of her.

“I will teach you _da’len_ ,” the seriousness of his voice now reaching his eyes, “but the moment this becomes too much for you, for us…”

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she replied softly before he could finish, “glimpses and visions from my dreams do not change who you are to me, show me all of you.”

She shifted her body, kneeling upright on the bed, her hands softly touching his face.

His face relaxing at her touch as she leaned into him.

A gentle kiss on his forehead, a promise that no matter if he was her _vhenan_ or a wolf.

_No matter the pain that could come…_

_The fears…_

_The joy…_

_The power of their love for one another could endure._


	12. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her smile was bright, her eyes shining in the candlelight, this was his da’len he had come to love. She was very reserved in her words, her actions, an unsettling side of her that he hoped never to see again. He whispered to whoever was listening at night as he held her in his arms, asking them to bring her peace and to be free of his burdens that she had taken.

Solas found Erys asleep at his desk in his study, surrounded by his books written on the fade, a promise that he intended to keep. He smiled as she slept, allowing her to enjoy her slumber a little longer. While she had not dreamed within the fade over the past weeks, there was a restlessness about her every night.

She was finally at peace, the candlelight dimming from her hours locked in the study. Her hair silver hair was pulled back into a braided bun, the lace ribbon he gave her was always on her. He noticed that she never went without that ribbon in her hair, the smallest of gifts from him meaning everything to her.

He leaned down to kiss her cheek lightly, she stirred slowly rubbing her eyes. There was nothing to stop him from chuckling as she stretched forward knocking a stack of books to the floor.

"Leave them,” he smiled at her, brushing back the strands of hair off her face, “those can wait.”

“I lost track of time in here,” she moved slowly from her chair, “I remember just reading a few sentences and laying my head down for a moment.”

He held out his hand, helping her as she moved away from the desk. Kissing her on the lips, he placed his hands on the back of her neck and the small of her back. He had spent the day without her kisses, her touch, her laugh.

“Did you rest well da’len?,” he kissed her cheek, “this is the most peaceful I have seen you in your sleep lately.”

She nestled her head into his chest, holding onto him tightly, “a very restful, yet unexpected nap.”

Her smile was bright, her eyes shining in the candlelight, this was his da’len he had come to love. She was very reserved in her words, her actions, an unsettling side of her that he hoped never to see again. He whispered to whoever was listening at night as he held her in his arms, asking them to bring her peace and to be free of his burdens that she had taken.

He felt at ease looking at her smile at him, a smile that he had missed lately, a smile that could make anyone smile.

There was no resisting the smile that formed on his lips, “ _da’len_ , I am glad to see your smile, I have missed it.”

She stood on her tip toes, wrapping her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her. He wrapped his arms around waist, letting his hands slowly trail down her lower back finding their way to the curve of her waist. Kissing her neck, she let out a soft moan in his ear, a sound that sent a slight shiver down his spine.

In one swift motion he lifted her up from her bottom, pulling her up to him, her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms clinging tightly to his neck. A small gasp and her laughter filled to room, he held her in his arms, soft kisses trailing up and down her neck.

****

Erys had missed this intimacy with Solas over the past few weeks. Feeling trapped by her dreams, trying to move past it and be strong, yet failing at every chance. His kisses tingled on her skin, she loved every kiss, every touch, every glance.

For once she felt like herself, no longer worried about her dream, allowing herself to feel the pleasures of this moment. The warmth of his kiss, his breath on her neck, the way he held her as she clung to him. She needed more of him.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she whispered in his ear as his kisses turned into light nibbles on her neck, a gentle moan following.

He paused for a moment, looking deep into her eyes, knowing that he desired more than this. She felt him shift as he placed her on the edge of the desk, he placed his hands on the desk, leaning down to kiss her, biting her lower lip softly as he pulled away.

She smirked at him, a wolfish smile, grabbed his tunic, bringing his face back to hers. His lips never tasted so sweet to her before, she playfully let her tongue brush against his lips. A small chuckle escaped his lips before allowing her tongue to enter his mouth, his tongue playfully finding hers.

He placed a hand on the small of her back, his other hand in her hair, his fingers tangled within her silver waves.

She let one of her hands trailed down his tunic, her fingers pressing into his body as she moved further down stopping above his waist, a soft groan escaped his lips as he bit her lip.

“ _Da’len_ , this isn’t fair,” he pulled away, his voice husked, desire burning in his eyes.

Her fingers found their way underneath his tunic, her hand slowly, softly sliding against his stomach to his chest.

He let out a low, soft growl in her ear, “d _a’len_.”

His growl made her body yearn for more of him, teasing him with her fingers on his chest. She brought her other hand under his tunic, letting herself feel more of his skin, his muscles flexing slightly at her touch.

“You can try to resist all you want _vhenan_ ,” her voice seductive in tone, her lips brushing against his neck as she leaned into him.

****

There was no denying that Erys’ touch felt good against his skin, her smell was intoxicating. His frustration and desire grew, wanting to feel his skin against hers, wanting to be tangled up in her, and wishing they were back in their room.

Her hands slowly trailed down his stomach, he could take no more of her teasing. He pulled her body into his forcing her off the desk, her hands falling away from his body as he kissed her roughly.

He broke away, grabbing her hand and pulled her outside of the study. If he was going to allow her to tease and torture him tonight, it was going to be in their room.

Her soft laughter rang in his ears as he pulled her quickly into the stairwell leading to their room. He pressed her into the wall, kissing her, his tongue finding its way past her lips as he opened the door.

He picked her up in his arms as her legs wrapped around his waist, carrying her quickly up the stairs, unlacing the back of her shirt, her hands clinging tightly to his back. Her shirt fell past her shoulders, revealing her soft pale skin underneath, his lips caressing the curve of her neck.

She wriggled her way out of his arms as they made it up the stairs. He gently laughed as he pulled the ribbon that laced her shirt loosening it even more.

The covers and pillows from the bed laid in front of the hearth as he made it up the last step. She turned to face him, giving a wolfish little grin. Her shirt still clinging on to the curve of her arms, the red glow from the fire lighting up her skin.

Softly chuckling at her, he crossed the room in a few steps, pulling his tunic off his body, her eyes taking him in as she bit her lower lip. All he wanted was her hands on his body, her breath at his neck, her lips against his, and him loving every inch of her.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he pulled her into him, pulling the ribbon out of her tunic quickly removing it from her body.

She swayed against his body, pressing into him, her eyes looking deeply into his, her hand softly running down his arm. There was no more resisting the inviting covers on the floor in front of the hearth.

****

Solas broke from their embrace, his movements were a blur to Erys. In a swift moment they went from standing, pressed against one another to lying naked on the covers.

His hands felt up and down every curve of her body, his kisses leaving no trace of her untouched. This was a side of him she had never seen before.

Her excitement echoed through each moan of pleasure as he slowly found her center with his tongue. One of his hands massaged her thigh as his fingers digging into her skin, while the other hand moved teasingly down her body.

His tongue was slow and pressed against her spot, her back arching off the covers. He slowly moved his hand to the inner of her thigh, massaging closer to her.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she cried out in pure ecstasy, her body feeling each spark as he teased her center.

He slowly slipped a finger inside of her, finding her other spot. His tongue still massaging her as he moved faster. Her body shook from the pure pleasure, the high that she felt through her. A ripple of moans escaped her lips leaving her gasping for air heightened by his playful tease.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she cried out once more, his finger quickly retreating from her body, his tongue made one last tease against her.

He leaned over her, his body pressing into hers. She could feel his hardness against her center, teasing her even more. Her body hungered for all of him, she ran her fingernails along his back, a soft groan escaping his lips.

He pressed into her, the sensation of him entering causing her back to arch against his. Her gasp cut off by his lips crashing into hers, hungry for her. His tongue finding hers, playing against it as he moved slowly inside of her.

She moaned against his kisses, her body aching under his, needing more. Her hunger was not going to be satisfied easily tonight, she knew this moment would be one of many.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she broke from his kisses, moaning and gasping for air.

He pressed further into her, harder and faster as he moved inside, her body writhing under his. She gently bit into his shoulder, her teeth leaving marks upon his skin, a low growl as his eyes darkened at her.

“ _Da’len,_ you should not have done that,” his teeth biting into the curve of her neck.

He was wild, his teeth making marks along her neck, his kisses fierce as his lips crashed against hers. Her body ached for more, she loved seeing this side of him. This wild warmth, his wolfish side finally escaping a little each time.

She felt her body release, pulling him into her, his lips on the edge of her jawline. Her moans, her gasps giving way as he gave into his release.

He kissed her gently, his lips tasting sweeter than before, lingering inside of her for a moment longer before rolling to his side and bringing her head onto his chest.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he placed his hand in her hair, tangling his fingers in it, “I love you, all of you _da’len_.”

His eyes showing all the love he possessed for her, wrapping his fingers in hers and holding onto her tight.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she kissed his cheek, “I love you and only you, no matter what comes.”

She nestled her head into his chest, pulling the covers over them. The fire crackling in the hearth beside them while his heartbeat lulled her into a peaceful sleep.


	13. Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The fade may hold all the answers that you wish find,” Mythal’s voice was direct, “yet venturing into the fade physically or in a dream may be taxing for Erys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13 is spread out into three parts.  
> Chapter 14 and 15 will involve more from 13.

The winter stillness still echoed throughout the forest as the hallas with their silky white fur moved gracefully across the snow. Two of the hallas stood still in the opening before them, glancing over them before turning and gracefully darting to join the others.

Erys had grown fond of the beauty that winter had brought around them, the icicles that hung on the bare branches as they traveled to the temple of Mythal. A journey to seek the wisdom in the hopes that maybe one day she could regain the memories that had been lost.

Solas held her hand as they traveled through the forest, their boots crunching against the snow as they made their way. He was wrapped in a long black fur cloak, the hood pulled over his head protecting his ears from the cold.

She was dressed in a similar fashion, matching his black attire underneath her cloak. Her fur cloak she donned was white, bearing the symbol of the dread wolf against her neck. He had gifted her this beautiful outfit right before they set out to visit his dear friend.

Hidden deep within the forest, a golden framed mirror that stood before them. She looked curiously at the mirror, wondering why in all of its grandeur it would be left alone, almost untouched by the world around it.

“These are called eluvians _da’len_ ,” his eyes focused on her as walked closer, “they are the way we travel to other cities.”

She walked closer to the eluvian, running her hand along the frame, the intricate silver leaves showing against the golden frame. The glass was cold to her touch as her fingers glided against it.

She turned to face him, a curious expression on her face, “ _vhenan_ , how does one travel through the eluvians?”

He smiled a gentle smile at her before walking closer to the mirror.

“One needs to use the magic that flows through the mirrors to use the eluvians,” he placed his hand on top of hers as the mirror gave way to a glowing portal.

He guided her through, placing his hand on her back, the glow of magic lighting their path forward. Winter had not touched the scenery where it had led them.

Her eyes darted back and forth at the marvel of the several eluvians that surrounded them. She slowly turned, her steps softer than before, the silence in the stillness of this new place.

“We leave no roads to travel between our cities and temples,” he stepped forward towards another eluvian, placing his hand against the glass.

She walked towards him, looking curiously at the eluvian as it did not glow as before. Her eyes still surveying the world around them.

“This is the crossroads that connects the eluvians together that are scattered throughout our world,” he turned and smiled softly at her, his hand still on the glass.

Gently she placed her hand over his, feeling the magic tingle beneath her fingertips. The mirror slowly gave way to a portal, their hands disappearing into the glowing light.

He stepped back, pulling their hands away from the portal slowly turning back into glass. A soft chuckle, amusement played in his eyes at her abilities.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he softly kissed her check and wrapped her in his arms, “how is it you are able to quickly learn how to control your own magic, when it takes others years to even master a simple technique?”

She looked up at him, reading his expression, the curiousness in his eyes as he wondered about her. Yet she had no answers to why magic came so easily to her, except the possibility she had these talents way before forgetting.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she felt her brow furrow, feeling a slight frustration as she tried to recall, “I wish I knew how things came so naturally to me now, maybe before I lost my memories…..”

She paused for a moment, the twinge of headache returning to her as she tried to recall. Her vision slowly blurred, her body swayed backwards against his arms, losing her footing, the snow crunching under her weight.

His arms caught her as she swayed backwards, the pain making it hard to stand on her own. The coldness of his hands found her face, his thumbs softly rubbing her temples trying to ease her pain.

She closed her eyes, letting the pain slowly dissipate from her body. Her vision slowly returned, and she could stand solidly on her own again.

“ _Da’len_ ,” his hands remained on her face, his voice filled with deep concern, “do not press yourself to remember for my own curiosities.”

He placed a kiss on her forehead and hugged her in a tight embrace, his eyes showing his worry for her.

“I will try not to push myself so hard to remember,” she nuzzled her head into his chest, “I just wish I could share that part of my life with you….”

She paused as a dark thought softly crept into her mind. The tears slowly began to form as the thought became words.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she tried to hold back the tears in her eyes, “I just hope that whoever I was before would never change…”

****

Solas kissed her, pressing his lips against her. He would not allow her to entertain this thought any longer. There were many questions left unanswered about her, yet, he knew that he could not live without her by his side.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he tilted her face up and looked into her eyes, slowly wiping the tears away, “there a many things we will have to face when you remember, nothing will ever change how much I love you.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, reaching up on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips.

“ _Ar lath ma, vhenan_ ,” she looked up at him lovingly, a soft smile forming on her face that lit up in her brilliant blue eyes.

He kissed her lips and then her cheeks, smiling as he looked down at the one he loved the most. The one who took his breath away with just a simple glance or touch.

“ _Ar lath ma, da’len_ ,” he kissed her gently one last time before leading her towards the eluvian once more.

He placed her hand against the mirror, watching her eyes light up as the glow of the eluvian shimmered on her face. A sweet, simple smile formed on her lips as the magic tingled against their hands as they slowly stepped through.

Every step closer to Mythal as they journeyed through the labyrinth of eluvinas, the worries slowly began to return. She squeezed his hand softly, as if she knew he was worrying about her once again.

He glanced at the forest that surrounded them now, the glow of the eluvian fading behind them. She turned to face him, reaching up on her tip toes to place a warm kiss on his cheek.

“I can feel you worrying,” she squeezed his hand, making him look at her, “no matter what comes _vhenan_ , I am here.”

He smiled as he leaned down to kiss her before leading her on the path towards the temple. Even in the winter stillness, the path was a beautiful sight, not near as beautiful as her.

Every part of him hoping that his friend would welcome his vhenan with open arms as she did for him long ago.

****

The entrance to Mythal’s temple could put Skyhold to shame, two large statues bearing the head of a dragon sat on either side of the door. Intricate iron work formed to make the entrance, clanging open as they entered in.

The stone walls bared elven writings the further they walked into the temple, a labyrinth of its own wonder. Nature grew within the temple, the earthy smell so distinct in comparison to the snow.

“The elves you see throughout the shadows are Mythal’s sentinels,” Solas gestured with is free hand to the elves dressed in golden armor, with their hoods covering their heads.

“They bear a vallaslin on their face,” she was curious to see the intricate yet delicate trees that adorned their faces from beneath their hoods.

They stood before the last of the doors leading to the center of the temple, opening on their own before them. Solas held onto her hand tightly, leading them to meet Mythal

“ _Andaran atish’an_ ,” a gentle, motherly voice spoke, her body hidden in the shadows.

Erys walked closer letting go of Solas’ hand. She stood at the edge of the steps taking in the marvel of the temple. She looked around noticing more elven sentinels keeping watch among the eaves.

“Mythal is the one of the protectors and viewed as the mother of our people,” Solas slowly removed her cloak from her shoulders, placing their cloaks on the stone bench, “a close friend of mine, a voice of wisdom and reason.”

Erys nodded as she watched the shadowed figure as it stepped into the light filtering into the temple. Her blue eyes watching closely, carefully placing a face to the seemingly gentle, motherly voice.

Mythal was tall and elegant, her blonde hair swept into graceful bun on top of her head, small curls framing her face. Even the clothes that she wore were just as elegant as her, the silky white fabric that draped across her skin, her deep emerald green eyes matching the color of the lush earth around them.

“ _Falon_ ,” Solas replied to Mythal as she now stood in front of them. It had been months since he had last seen his friend, the memory of the battle still in the back of his mind.

Mythal smiled brightly at Erys, her green eyes focusing on Erys before looking back at Solas. Even the mother and protector of her own people had a right to be wary.

“And who might you be,” Mythal asked waiting for a reply, her green eyes narrowing as she looked at Erys. She noticed that Erys’ eyes were a brilliant blue, shining brightly even when nervous. The silver of her hair was quite an odd feature for an elf so young as she looked.

Erys moved closer to Solas stepping back, her hand searching for his. She had never stood in front of one of the Evanuris before. Knowing that she remembered nothing of her past made it harder to not feel uneasy under Mythal’s glare.

“I am….,” Erys paused the words caught in her throat, she swallowed softly hoping to find the rest of her words. “I am Erys,” she replied timidly, feeling the weight of her anxiousness grow. She shifted her weight slightly, her back now leaning into Solas.

Solas placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently reminding Erys that he was there. He could feel how tense she was under Mythal’s gaze. There was something that Mythal knew that was unknown to him, a question that would be answered before they left

Erys looked gently at Solas, holding her hand tightly in his, feeling her body shake slightly. She noticed as he brought his eyes to Mythal, a small unspoken warning between them.

“You can be quite intimidating Mythal,” Solas looked at his friend, a small warning, “Erys has been through enough the past several months, the last thing I want her to feel is unwelcomed by my friend.”

Solas brought his eyes back to Erys, noticing her blue eyes wavering slightly as she broke the gaze that was held between her and Mythal. He pulled Erys closer to him, feeling her relax slightly at his touch.

Mythal took note of his words, easing her glare from Erys, smiling a gentle smile at her. The last thing she wanted was her friend to no longer be on her side, with the turmoil of the Evanuris ever growing.

“There is no need to feel worried, you are welcome here,” Mythal took one last glance at Erys before speaking.

Solas narrowed his eyes, listening closely to Mythal. If there was a way to help Erys recover her memories and alleviate her pain, he would trade anything to help his love.

Erys looked back at Mythal, curiosity showing on her face. As many books she had read in study, she had never come across one that spoke about recovering memories. The tension between them disappearing as she listened closely to Mythal’s words.

“The fade may hold all the answers that you wish find,” Mythal’s voice was direct, “yet venturing into the fade physically or in a dream may be taxing for Erys.”

There was a pause as Mythal looked closely at Erys, taking notice of how short and petite she was in comparison to the rest of their kind. Yet, even despite her appearance, she could sense Erys was a lot stronger than she had encountered before. The magic that flowed through Erys’ body was light and pure, a magic quite different to her own.

Mythal smiled softly, noticing the way Erys looked at Solas. Seeing a small glimpse of how he had changed. A twinge of sadness found her, keeping her smile, knowing that if Solas found out the truth, the darkness could swallow him once more.

“If you wish to restore her memories,” Mythal continued speaking looking at both Solas and Erys, “the spirits of the fade may be able to guide her in that journey.”

Erys eyes opened wide, a sense of hope mixed with worry came over her. She knew that recovering her memories could explain who she truly was and how she narrowly escaped death. Yet, the worry that who she was in the past could still destroy everything she held dear. She looked up at Solas, reading his face, the same emotions she felt mirrored in his eyes.

Mythal looked closely at Solas and Erys, noticing how much fate had intertwined them together. The choice would be Erys’ and hers alone.

“If you do wish,” Mythal stepped closer a gentle smile across her face, “I can show you how to do this without my interference, when she wishes to remember, if she does.”

Mythal turned, heading back to the well, allowing them to decide in private, knowing that the decision could shape their future for better or for worse. Knowing that they would be seeking the answers she had guarded over the past several months.


	14. Broken Mirrors - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her smile alone was a comfort he had grown to enjoy.
> 
> Her voice was gentle, soothing as if she was always singing a lullaby for him alone.
> 
> The way she looked at him, her brilliant blue eyes that pierced deeper into his heart each day.

The halls were silent, cold and empty within Skyhold. Words echoed that had long been said through her mind. If one could feel their heart breaking, this was a moment she did not welcome.

There were no words said between them when they returned home. Not even a glance in her direction before he shut himself in his study. He was cold, his eyes filled with more sorrow and pain than she had seen before.

It was her fault, a fault she had no control over. The blame fell easier on her, if anyone should hurt….it was her. The little bit of resolve she had to open the door left her when she heard the thud of everything on his desk fall to the floor. A soft, sorrow filled sigh left her, the tears she did not want pushed their way to the surface. She would not allow herself to cry, to breakdown to a closed door.

Her feet led her back to their empty and cold room, she knew there was no point in returning to the study. With just a simple look towards the hearth, a flame took shape giving light to the shadows in the room. Shadows that mirrored the sadness inside her soul.

She placed the cloak on the bed before sitting in front of the hearth. The sense of curling up into a ball was the smallest comfort she could offer herself. Removing the black ribbon from her hair, allowing her silver hair to fall past her shoulders.

Warm tears streamed down her face in the safety of the room. No one would bother her here. Not even her _vhenan_. She was truly alone once again, the coldness outside mirroring how she felt.

Sitting in front of the fire flickering in the hearth gave her little comfort as she placed her head against her knees. She allowed her mind wandered back to the temple, searching for answers, knowing that there would be none to fix what was lost.

****

Solas watched as Mythal left, making sure no one was around to overhear their conversation. He knew that Mythal could be trusted in helping Erys recover her memories within the fade. Yet he longed for her to choose him.

Erys looked up at him, her brilliant blue eyes reading his every thought, squeezing his hand lightly.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” she spoke softly, her eyes not leaving his gaze, “if I choose to remember my memories, I trust only you.”

Solas tried to keep his smile to himself, relieved that she would choose him and slightly ashamed that he allowed himself to second guess her. There were many things that he could control in the fade, physically and in his dreams. Manipulating the fade to ones will was a power he discovered on his own in the many years before her.

“What is it that you wish,” he curiously asked without thinking, the words escaping before he could stop.

He felt her fingers intertwine with his, her thumb rubbing against his hand. She was warm, there was no signs of the timidness left in her eyes. He knew she did not have to reply to his questions, yet there were never any secrets between them.

“I wish to remember who I was eventually but not now,” she smiled softly, looking down at the ground quickly and back up at him, “yet I feel that Mythal knows something that I do not.”

He let out a soft sigh, relieved to hear her say what he longed she would want at this moment. The constant light she had been for him was something he never wanted to lose. 

“You have no idea how that relieves me so,” he had let his guard down in such a manner, not worrying what his close friend had seen from afar.

“I think I do,” she smiled brightly, placing her hand on his chest while the other twisted one of his braids around her finger.

He laced his fingers within Erys’, leading her to where Mythal sat watching from afar.

****

There was a soft smile from Mythal as she saw them make their way towards her. She bore a heavy burden that there was no need to keep a secret any longer from either Solas or Erys.

“Before you give me the answer Erys” Mythal spoke gently, “there is something that I must share with both of you.”

Solas and Erys nodded, taking a seat across from Mythal. There was a silence for a moment, the rustle of the sentinels as they moved about and the gentle flow of water the only sounds.

“This…,” Mythal paused, looking closely at Solas and Erys, knowing fully well the pain this would cause, also knowing it could no longer be avoided.

“Erys, I know you do not remember your past and you wish to have answers,” Mythal’s tone was no longer gentle, now a somber tone, “yet, the ones I can offer you are from my memory alone.”

Erys’ brilliant blue eyes focused on every word, she shifted in her seat leaning forward, curious yet afraid to know more.

Solas looked intently at Mythal, his eyes piercing. He was caught off guard, there was a sadness in Mythal’s eyes, a look that she knew the price it would cost.

“Erys, how you came into being is much like him, it was as if you were breathed into being,” Mythal stood and walked towards them, “yet, the rest of the Evanuris fears what you could become if you continue to remain free.”

The look of confusion was clear on Erys’ face, these were encounters long forgotten between them.

The only reason that Erys was still breathing was part of a grander scheme that Mythal had kept hidden from Solas until this moment.

“You are stronger than most of the elven mages, a feat that is not well taken among them,” Mythal looked closely into Erys’ eyes, “Elgar’nan had no intentions of allowing you to live past your service to him.”

Solas rose, if there was ever a moment he wished to not be in, this was it. He was in disbelief that the one he loved could be used as a tool to destroy in the wrong hands. A tool that could have been easily used to defeat him, allowing the Evanuris to grow stronger, waging more wars against themselves.

“What service would Erys have served to Elgar’nan,” Solas question, his tone harsh, anger filled his eyes.

Mythal could no longer look directly at Solas glanced down at the ground beneath her feet, “the answer to that question, I believe you have an idea as to who and why.”

Erys sat frozen, her face paler than before. This was all too much for her to hear. She looked down at her hands, hands that were meant to destroy her _vhenan._ Tears formed in her eyes, slowly trickling down her face, dropping softly onto her hands.

“Erys as you have figured out shares a likeness to your powers,” Mythal looked up, her eyes flitting between both of them, “you have seen it with your own eyes.”

Solas stood, stone-like for a moment before taking a step towards Mythal.

“Then explain to me how….” Solas placed a hand against his forehead, “how….”

Solas fumbled for words to finish his thoughts, those would not come easily. Everything he had believed before was now just a past memory. A sense of betrayal that should not have existed found a way into his heart, the darkness once again building its walls.

There were no words in Erys’ mouth that could stop the heated tension between Solas and Mythal. Dark, unwelcomed thoughts filled her mind, this was her fault for existing. Her fault for coming. Her fault the only thoughts echoing in her mind against everything being spoken.

“I freed Erys from her chains,” Mythal looked up to see how shattered Erys now was before her, “she deserves to be more than a tool of destruction against whoever Elgar’nan wishes to wage war against.”

Mythal took a seat next to Erys, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. The brokenness inside of Erys could be felt in the space between them.

Solas did not move, he could not move no matter how much he wanted to. Every guard he had let down, the ties between them could be his undoing. A mistake he would not allow himself to make again.

“The fault for you losing your memories Erys is partially of my own,” Mythal removed her hand placing it on her lap, “your abilities will return on their own with or without remembering them.”

“There is a light inside of you Erys, do not forget that,” Mythal had taken notice of what was fragmented before her, “you are not what Elgar’nan intended for you to be, you did fight against him.”

Erys slowly looked up, glancing between Mythal and Solas. She noticed that Solas did not look in her direction, his eyes focused elsewhere. There was no keeping the dark and painful thoughts at bay anymore.

“I….,” Erys stood slowly, her legs weak beneath her, there were no words to be said.

The damage was beyond fixing in this moment, Erys knew better than to press Solas any further. She walked away without looking back, fetching her cloak from where it laid. This would be the last time she hoped to step foot in this place.

****

Solas groaned in frustration as he shoved every book and artifact that set on his desk to the floor. He leaned against his desk, angered and hurt. There were no words to say to Erys, there was a very small hope he could ever look at he again. He sighed, looking at the mess on the floor, the sound of her footsteps as she walked away echoed in the hall. 

He unlaced his cloak letting in fall, joining the mess on the floor. The pent-up anger he felt still ran through his veins, his blood hot. He sank into his chair, placing his head in his hands.

He bent down, looking closely at the intricate mirror that had shattered from its fall. The broken pieces a gentle reminder of what he had just lost. His reflection against the shards glinted slightly from the dim candlelight, just like the mirror he had allowed his _vhenan_ to shatter beside him.

‘I should go to her,’ he thought to himself, quickly shaking away that thought. No, he could not go to her. He should not even look upon her in the same light.

Yet, despite all that was revealed, he could not bring himself to hate her in the least. She was everything to him despite knowing that she was a tool for someone else’s hate. He had made poor decisions in the past, yet today’s choices could not be fixed so easily with mere words.

_Her smile alone was a comfort he had grown to enjoy._

_Her voice was gentle, soothing as if she was always singing a lullaby for him alone._

_The way she looked at him, her brilliant blue eyes that pierced deeper into his heart each day._

_“Da’len_ ,” he whispered to himself, running his fingers against the shaved part of his head as his long twisted braids fell over his shoulder, “can you forgive me?”

That darkness, that loneliness he had allowed himself to exist in for so long was no longer inviting. Every part of him ached, sensing her own pain was greater than his. No matter how hard he tried, there was no unlinking their souls, their spirits from one another.

He turned to leave, paying no notice to the disarray of the study. Hoping somewhere that she would be able to forgive him for his blindness.


End file.
